


no matter the cost

by fictionalparadises



Series: in the quiet of the night [2]
Category: Tiny Meat Gang (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Assassins & Hitmen, Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Angst, M/M, Pining, Violence, also fluff tho, blood mention, cody is baby, like uuuh a lot of it, protective noel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:14:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22604560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictionalparadises/pseuds/fictionalparadises
Summary: “Cody.” Noel grabs his hand tightly to stop him from moving away. “Don’t die.”“Same goes for you,” he replies with an easy smile, like the world is not falling apart around them.
Relationships: Cody Ko & Noel Miller, Cody Ko/Noel Miller
Series: in the quiet of the night [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1640536
Comments: 6
Kudos: 104





	no matter the cost

**Author's Note:**

> special thanks to lucy for being the best person in this entire world and motivating me to finish this ♥
> 
> this is just a piece of fiction, please don't show this to the boys (you know the drill), respect kelsey & aleena or die by my sword,,, enjoy!!

It’s quiet in Noel’s apartment as he packs his bags. It becomes an unconscious routine—take a shirt from his drawers, fold it, put it in the bag. He listens to the sirens and car honks below on the street in a daze.

He’s been on so many missions before this one, packed his bags so many times, but this time it’s different. Noel isn’t sure for how long he’s leaving. He isn’t even sure if he’ll be returning at all. 

_It’s classified. Only a handful of people know about this mission. If you’re willing to go through with this, you thereby accept the risks it might have for your wellbeing._

_Do I have a choice?_

_You always have a choice, Mr. Miller._

_Why would I want to put my life on the line for a mission if I have a choice, then?_

_Because they’re after Cody Kolodziejysk._

And then there was no choice to be made. 

Even right now, as Noel Miller is about to leave everything behind to become someone else entirely, he has no doubts, no regrets about doing so. 

Not when it comes to Cody.

He’s not sure when things got to that point—caring about his partner like that. There’s nothing official between them. But...

It’s in sharing beds, cleaning and stitching each other’s wounds, talking in the middle of the night in a darkened hotel room. Holding him tightly when Noel wakes up screaming. Letting Cody stain his shirt with his tears. 

Noel doesn’t want it to be official. He doesn’t want them to say things out loud, because once that happens, it means it can be broken. Taken from him, like so many other things. 

And it can’t be taken from him when there’s nothing substantial between them to begin with. 

His front door opens downstairs. Noel already knows who it is, though he didn’t expect Cody to show up this early. 

HQ must have briefed him about Noel’s mission this afternoon. Or, from the sound of it, barely ten minutes ago. 

_This is an underground mission. For the first month, you can’t contact anyone in the outside world. Most importantly, you are prohibited to tell anyone about this mission, least of all Mr. Kolodziejysk. You will be our man on the inside, Mr. Miller, and this is the farthest we have ever come concerning this case._

In other words: don’t fuck this up or we will end you. 

Loud footstep thunder up the stairs and moments later, Cody appears in the doorway, looking disheveled and absolutely _furious_. Noel still has his back turned to him, casually folding up his clothes. 

“Were you going to tell me?” Cody seethes, but his tone is on the edge of desperate. 

Noel slowly turns around, keeping the stone-hewn mask on his face. “Tell you what?” 

“That you’re leaving for more than three fucking months!” 

“HQ ordered me not to tell you.” A lame excuse, really, but Noel’s heart aches at the sight of him and that is proof, more than anything, that he _has_ to do this. The sacrifices he must make will be worth every-fucking-thing. 

“Fuck that, Noel! You’re going to god-knows-where on the vaguest mission I’ve ever heard of and you don’t think to tell me?” Cody’s expression crumbles. 

_I’m doing this for you_ , he thinks as he walks over, his eyes softening. “I’m sorry.” He is, truly, for more than simply not telling him. 

“Come here,” he murmurs, and for a moment, Noel thinks Cody’s going to push him off or move away, but then he lets Noel pull him into his arms. “It’s okay.” 

“Liar,” Cody whispers against the crook of his neck.

He is. It’s not okay, and he doesn’t know if it will be. 

But he lets himself enjoy one more night with Cody, presses the man tighter in his arms after he’s fallen asleep next to him. And being the liar he is, he lets himself believe this won’t be the last time he sees him. 

* * *

Noel is staring out the window, his eyes barely able to keep up with the landscape as it zooms past. His confidant is sitting opposite of him, repeating a bunch of things he already knows. 

It was all in the report they gave him. Locations, people, descriptions. His alias, backstory and new personality. He’s memorized every single sentence in it, word for word. 

They’re on their way to the drop-off, but Noel can’t stop thinking about Cody. How angry he was when he had to go this morning. 

_“You’re leaving me behind!”_ Cody had yelled.

 _I will come back to you,_ he wanted to say, but it came out as, _“I don’t have a choice.”_

He doesn’t have a choice because there isn’t one to be made. He left Cody in his living room, angry tears streaming down his face, but at least he hadn’t objected when Noel kissed him briefly, three words stuck in his throat. 

His lips are still burning from the kiss. 

The car stops and his confidant opens the door for him. He gets out, duffel bag in his hand. From here, he’s on his own. 

Noel Miller will be Daniel Wilson. 

He wonders how much he will have left of Noel Miller once the mission ends.

* * *

 _Leave your morals behind_ . That’s what they told him. _And your dignity._

He can do that. For Cody, he can. 

_Forget your pride._ It will be worth nothing—not when he’s about to become a toy.

An escort, HQ had called it. Just a fancy word to cover up the fact that they’re whoring out Noel. 

They call him Cain—a mafia boss with an insatiable taste for violence. After a failed attempt to kill him, it is only a matter of time before he comes after those who initiated the order. 

A bit of luck on their side: HQ finds out Cain has a taste for boys—playthings. It’s disgusting, really, but also a streak of luck. An opportunity to take him down altogether. 

And if selling himself like this is the cost of keeping Cody safe, then Noel will pay it gladly. 

* * *

The first days are rough. He’s not allowed to meet Cain, which makes sense, but it also makes Noel more nervous than he likes. 

Cain is untouchable. Unless you’re a 5'9 guy with brown eyes who calls himself Daniel Wilson. 

They search his stuff daily, wake him in the middle of the night to ask questions about his life and give him the most laughable tasks to finish. He spends most days mopping floors or bringing around packages, and it frustrates Noel to the point of anger that they make it impossible for him to snoop. 

But it’s not without reason that HQ found Cain to be too big of a threat to let him walk around and do his business. Patience is key, in this case. 

It takes weeks—twenty-eight days, to be exact. By then, he’s gained some ground. The caporegimes have stopped paying close attention to him and the soldiers that stand watch on every hour of the day don’t bat an eye at his presence anymore.

Noel is exhausted, because the room he’s sleeping in is freezing and the bed is extremely uncomfortable. He doesn’t want to think about it, but he misses Cody, misses how he used to wake up with their limbs entangled, misses his soft snoring. 

His door opens. “You’re coming with me,” the underboss orders. 

So Noel follows. They take him to a part of the building he hasn’t been before. The smell of cigarettes washes over him as the underboss steers him into a large room, a crystal chandelier on the ceiling. 

There’s a table in the middle, with half-filled glasses of whiskey, ashtrays and open-faced cards on top. Noel recognizes a few faces around the table—a few of the caporegimes—but the majority of them are new. 

And on the head of the table sits Cain, lounging on a mock throne. Noel almost blinks in surprise, because… well, Cain is the opposite of ugly. Handsome, even. But there’s something off about his face. Perhaps it’s the sadistic edge, the way his eyes light up at the sight of Noel. 

He’s not sure how to act as he waves him over. 

Cain blows out a cloud of smoke. “What’s your name?” 

“Daniel Wilson, sir.” Noel replies, eyes cast down. 

“Well, Daniel, it’s nice to meet you,” Cain says. He doesn’t introduce himself, because _of course_ that’s unnecessary. “How would you like a promotion?”

Noel’s stomach drops, but—this is what he has been waiting for. “It’d be an honor, sir.” 

Cain huffs out a quiet laugh. “Congratulations, then. You just raised yourself up the chain.” Noel isn’t sure how to respond, and then Cain pats on his thighs. “Come sit with me.”

Noel acts like it doesn’t sicken him when he sits down on Cain’s lap. Pretends that his heart isn’t sinking like a stone in water.

“Good boy,” he says, laying a hand on Noel’s thigh.

_And so the game begins._

* * *

Each day, it gets more difficult to keep up the facade. Noel keeps the brainless expression plastered on his face, acts simple-minded, pretends to like Cain’s hands on him.

 _He gets a new one every month,_ one of the soldiers told him during a car ride, _so if you want to stay, you’re going to have to be creative._

So Noel is. And he hates himself for the things he does and lets happen to him. At one point, he thinks he hates himself more than he hates Cain. 

He sits in steaming baths until the water is cold, but it doesn’t wash off the feeling of someone else’s fingers on his skin. 

_You’re going to lose yourself. So you need to find something that keeps you grounded._

Cody is what keeps Noel grounded. It’s been like that since the first time they became partners for work. He is Noel’s lifeline, his salvation, his redemption. 

Noel doesn’t have to sleep in his shitty room anymore—all he needs to do now is keep Cain’s bed warm. 

Cody is the sole purpose in Noel’s life. A reason to live. Someone to die for. 

Noel lies awake each night and listens to Cain’s even breathing and realizes how much he despises the sound of it. Every night, as he stares at the ceiling with one hand propped up under his head, he thinks of Cody. 

Cody is the center of Noel’s universe. He is able to create new worlds with few words. And when Cody laughs, when he throws his head back and _really_ laughs, or when Cody gently touches Noel’s face and looks at him like he is the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen, he shapes a future Noel wants to live for, with only the touch of his fingertips. 

He’s doing it for him. And no matter what happens, the result will be greater than the price he may have to pay if it means he will see Cody one more time. 

* * *

Cain is a sadistic man. 

He makes Noel sick and nauseous. Truly.

Noel sits on his lap during meetings and liquidations. He watches as people get shot in the head or bleed to death right in front him, and Cain’s hands trace circles on his back. He listens to how people get tortured in the most cruel ways possible while Cain whispers obscene nothings in his ear. 

When they’re alone, he lets him do whatever he wants. Noel thinks the worst part is pretending he enjoys it. 

But it will be worth it. It _has_ to be worth it. 

* * *

Noel acts dumb and that wins him some ground. After another month, he has memorized the facility—the hallways, main rooms, exits and offices—and he has learned the names of the most important people around. 

He asks a caporegime about the armory. A stupid mistake. 

The man looks at him like he can see right through the lies, but Noel makes up some dumb story about wanting to learn how to use a gun, tries to say some expensive words but misuses them on purpose, and then the caporegime shrugs and tells him it’s none of his business as Cain’s toy. _Not that you’d know how to shoot, anyways, right?_

It’s a jab that doesn’t find its mark. _You don’t know the least about me_ , he thinks. 

“So, you want to learn how to aim, don’t you?” Cain says from where he’s sitting on the bed when Noel returns to his room. 

Of course he already knows. There’s nothing in this building that goes past him. 

Noel nods, forcing a drowsy smile on his face as he swings his legs over Cain’s lap and straddles him. “I do, sir.” He babbles on about the story he started earlier.

Then Cain has a gun in his hands. Noel watches with wide eyes, and, as if in a daze, lets him lay the cool metal against his tongue. 

It seems Noel has discovered another one of Cain’s revolting fetishes. 

He wonders if it’d be that bad—to get shot right here, right now. To just get it over with. 

_No_. The job isn’t finished. Cody’s not in the clear yet.

And Cain doesn’t pull the trigger. Instead, he kisses Noel, and Noel acts like he’s not the most appalling man alive. 

* * *

The shooting range is new ground. Noel mentally maps the place and to his luck, also finds out where the armory is. 

He fails to hit the bullseye each time.

 _You’re one of the best shooters I’ve ever met,_ Cody’s voice echoes in the back of his head. He feels hollow.

Cain stands next to him and instructs him what to do. It surprises Noel that he’s so patient, considering he lost his nerve yesterday when an associate didn’t reply quick enough. That earned him a broken nose. 

The gun is a familiar weight in his hand, one he doesn’t know he’d miss. Cain is so close, and Noel’s hands itch to just kill him right here, but—

_He needs to be taken down carefully, Mr. Miller. His whole organisation needs to be dismantled, or someone else will take his place before we can do anything to prevent it._

So he misses shot after shot deliberately and gives up after an hour of trying. 

* * *

After a total of eight weeks off the grid, his confidant finds a way to contact him. 

He receives an usb-stick, an old Nokia and a few instructions. 

Another objective. He slowly forgets what it’s like to be a free man walking. 

* * *

Another month passes. Noel is losing his mind, bit by bit. 

Where he tried not to think about Cody the first weeks, his name is now a never-ending chant in his head, a mantra to keep him sane. 

_Cody Cody Cody Cody Cody Cody Cody Cody Cody_

More meetings. More liquidations. More tortures. 

He sits on Cain’s lap more often than he sits on chairs. 

Whenever Cain’s asleep next to him, Noel stares at his face and daydreams about strangling him. 

His dignity has been smashed to bits. Now even the soldiers look down on him, snicker behind his back and make fun of him when they think he can’t hear them.

_He’s been holding out the longest of all of them, ain’t he?_

_More than two months here. When’s Cain gonna kill ‘im?_

_Soon enough, probably._

The days are endless. 

* * *

He finds small bits and pieces of information, yet nothing solid. Noel can’t get his hands on a laptop, no matter how hard he tries. 

He needs time, but he’s slowly running out. He’s not sure how long he can keep this up. 

_For Cody_ , he keeps reminding himself, _for Cody I’ll gladly take myself to annihilation._

* * *

And then he suddenly doesn’t have time anymore. Another day, at best. 

He’s sprawled over Cain during another meeting, kissing the soft spot in his neck. Acts like he’s not focused on whatever they’re talking about. 

The door slams open. Noel keeps his eyes fixated on Cain, playing with one of the buttons of his shirt. 

“What’s this?” Cain gestures broadly. Noel hears the impact of knees on concrete. Another victim to torture or kill. 

“We found him, sir. A tough one to get, for sure, but the months of hard work paid off.”

A satisfied smile slowly spreads over Cain’s face. Noel turns to look.

And nothing, _nothing_ , has ever compared to the paralysing feeling of dread that crashes over him as he stares right into Cody’s eyes. 

It takes every single piece of him to not let it show, to not freeze in Cain’s arms. 

Cody looks as aghast as he feels, though that can be played off as fear for Cain. But Noel _knows_ Cody—he knows that the look in his eyes is because he didn’t know exactly on what kind of mission Noel was going, and that the realization just hit. 

“Who’s this?” Noel makes himself murmur, tilting his head and glancing at Cain. He’s in such deep shit. 

“This,” Cain’s eyes flicker to Noel’s lips and god, this is much, much worse than ever before, “is a dead man walking.” 

_Fuck_. “Can I touch him?” 

Cain smirks. “Looking for another plaything?” 

Noel hops off him. “Maybe,” he replies with a small smile. 

“Restrain him.” Cain orders, as if Cody’s not already beaten up, handcuffs too tight around his wrists. Still, two soldiers harshly pull him up and Cody grimaces in pain. 

_I’m going to kill them all,_ Noel thinks. He is. 

He tries not to falter as he walks over to the only person he cares about in this entire world. 

When Noel is right in front of Cody, he is robbed of air. He is prettier than Noel can remember, so infinitely much more breathtaking than in his dreams.

He can’t hold himself back and brings his hand up to Cody’s face, letting his thumb brush over his bottom lip.

Cody is barely breathing himself. 

Noel remembers just in time that he has a role to play, someone else to be, so he says, “How loud are you?” 

Cody swallows hard. “I never make a sound,” he gets out, voice hoarse, and the worst part is that Noel knows it’s true—no matter how much they’ll torture him, he’ll always be quiet.

“Oh, I can think of a few ways to make you scream,” Noel replies. Low laughter echoes through the room.

He can’t restrain himself, prays to whoever’s up there that he won’t get killed for this, and bows forward to press a kiss to the corner of Cody’s mouth. 

His legs almost buckle. He swears that Cody sobs inaudibly. 

_I’m so sorry,_ he tries to tell him, _I’m coming back for you._

Noel turns on his heel and smiles at Cain. “I like this one.” 

Cain waves to one of the soldiers. “Put him in a cell. We’ll keep him alive for now.” 

The words might make him cry. 

* * *

“What are you going to do with him?” Noel asks softly. It’s 1 a.m. and Cain is laying next to him.

“With who?” 

“The boy from earlier.” 

Cain turns to look at him, a harsh line between his brows deepening. “What do you care?” 

He needs to be cautious now. Tread carefully. 

Noel shrugs, shifting to lay on his back. “I don’t know. He looked interesting.” 

“Hey,” Cain grabs Noel’s chin to force him to look at him, “You can pick someone else. Just not this one.”

He doesn’t want to pick someone else. He wants Cody. 

When Cain thinks Noel has fallen asleep, he leaves the room to make some calls. 

It’s muffled, but Noel gets the gist. 

He has until tomorrow.

* * *

It’s 4 in the morning when Noel is fully certain Cain has finally fallen asleep. He shoots out of bed, careful not to wake the man, and quickly gets ready to leave. 

He can’t find his backpack, decides he won’t need the clothes lying around anyways and only takes one of Cain’s guns. 

Noel halts in the doorpost and turns to look back at Cain. 

“I’m coming back for you,” he breathes. _And I’m going to kill you in the slowest, most agonizing way possible._

As he hurries through the bleak corridors, he feels the most _Noel_ he’s felt in months. It’s like a fog rises from his mind—now only a clear goal remains. 

Cody is all Noel has. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do to protect him. No cost is too great.

The facility is almost deserted at this hour, only a few guards stand watch wherever. 

He needs a silencer. And a second gun. 

The guard in front of the armory is down easily and _christ_ , does it feel good to do this again. 

He sticks a gun in the waistband of his jeans and an extra one in his boot. The USB-stick burns in his pocket as he walks out—he has to find an office and quick, before anyone realizes that there are multiple guards down.

“Hey, can I ask you something? Where’s Cain’s office?” Noel asks, conjuring up the dumb mask on his face. 

The soldier turns around, machine gun in his hands. “Why do you need to know?” 

“I—uh, I had to get Cain something from his office. He said it was in the top drawer of his desk.” 

“It’s on the end of this corridor two levels up.” The man replies, a frown deepening between his brows. “But if Cain gave you orders, you sure won’t mind if I ask him, right?” His hand goes to the pager on his belt. 

Noel wasn’t going to let him live anyways. He shoots the soldier in the head, quickly moving to catch his body before it drops to the floor. 

Two more men are down by the time he arrives at Cain’s office. It takes him too damn long to crack the password of his computer, and then all the files on it are encrypted, too. 

_Fuck_ , he thinks, and he feels like screaming, _fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck._

Noel has minutes left before they find out something’s wrong. 

Four minutes is what he has, apparently. From the sound of it, only two people approach.

Three shots, suppressed by the silencer of his gun. 

He takes the USB-stick and runs, hopping over the cooling bodies on the floor and hastily pocketing the old Nokia. And Noel knows that he shouldn’t shoot everyone down here, but they _all_ deserve it. 

_The killing calm_ , Cody always calls it, and he supposes that’s accurate. It’s like a haze dawning on him, a sudden silence in his head that makes every step and motion so simple. He barely thinks as he pulls the trigger, again and again and again.

The cells are dark and musty and smell like wet concrete. Noel feels as though he’s going to suffocate at the thought of Cody being locked up here. 

The worst part: they’re deserted. 

Cody’s not here.

* * *

Noel’s going out of his mind. He’s too late—he’s too late and there’s nothing he can do about it. 

He sinks to his knees in front of the empty, opened cell. The deadly silence in his mind is faltering, a wave of despair and fear meddling the border between chaos and calm. 

Faint voices. Footsteps approach. 

“We should go. He needs us down there.” 

“Oh, right. So we can clean the floor. Again.” 

Noel stares at the pool of blood, slowly mixing with water, in the center of the cell. A plan forms in his head and it settles there, along with iron determination. 

They hurt him. And now they’re all going to pay.

* * *

 _It’s a trap_ , a voice whispers in the back of his mind. _I know_ , he answers, but Noel can’t care when he sees Cody slumped on the ground in the middle of the hangar.

He’s half-conscious, hands shackled to an iron chain, but he's still breathing.

“Cody,” Noel breathes as he slides to his knees in front of him. He cups his face gently, trying to determine what state he’s in.

“Noel?” Cody whispers, his eyes widening. And then, “You have to go.” His voice is hoarse.

He shakes his head. He’s not going anywhere—he’s never going anywhere without Cody again. 

“Noel, you have to go,” Cody urges, “it’s a trap.” 

“Exactly. So let’s get you out of here.” He says, ignoring Cody’s protests and moving to look at the handcuffs. 

Two minutes is all he gives himself. He counts down in his head as he fumbles with his tools. 

“You good back there?” Cody asks and Noel could cry at the sound of humor in his voice. 

_Fifty-nine seconds. Fifty-eight. Fifty-seven._

“Shut up,” Noel mutters, and adds, “You were always better at lockpicking.” 

“Thank you,” Cody gives him a crooked smile and it’s so beautiful it takes Noel’s breath away. 

_Twenty-one. Twenty. Nineteen._

_Click_.

He helps Cody to his feet. An alarm starts blaring and their heads snap up before they look at each other. They have to go, _now_. On one of Cody’s hands is still a handcuff, but there’s no more time.

“A pity it has to end this way, Daniel.” Cain calls out, hands stuffed in his pocket as he casually strolls into the hall. Noel pushes Cody behind him imperceptibly, pretends his stomach doesn’t drop at the sight of the dozens of soldiers running in. “I liked you better when you were lying under me.” 

Cody freezes behind him. Noel realizes it doesn’t matter anymore—revenge, his survival... it’s all wasted effort anyways. But Cody—he has to get Cody out. 

Family is who you kill for. Who you die for. Noel’s never had that—until Cody. And now there is nothing good enough for the man he loves, nothing more than he can give but his broken and ragged self. This seems to be the part where he does exactly that.

“Are we at least going to have a fair fight, or do you expect everything to be done _for_ you, like in the bedroom?” He needs more time. That’s always the problem, isn’t it? He’s constantly running out of time.

Cain lets out a low laugh. “You were good, I admit that. A waste that I have to search for a replacement already, but… your end was near, anyway.” 

The men surround them in a half-circle. Noel steps back and bumps into Cody. _Think, think._ His eyes scan the hangar once, twice, his mind desperately calculating escape routes.

“Fifteen men,” Cody breathes. “Two of us. One gun.” 

“Who told you? When did you find out?” Noel asks. Not that he cares. _Three_ , he signs behind his back, lifting his shirt. Cody’s eyes flick to Noel’s waistband before he imperceptibly takes the gun out of it. 

“I found out myself. I’m not blind,” Cain snaps. “Not that you care, of course. No, you’re trying to buy yourself time. But really, _Daniel_ , you’re just postponing your own execution.”

It’s now or never. Their last chance. 

“Who’s going to tell these morons most of their guns are still safety-locked?” Cody breathes.

And then Noel starts to laugh. He throws his head back and _laughs_. 

Cody is in heaven, almost forgets where they are and what is happening at the sound of it. He will never get enough of it, he decides. Cain looks thrown off.

“Run,” Noel mutters under his breath, and as abruptly as such a rich sound echoed through the hall, a silence falls. 

“Kill them.” Cain orders.

The safety-locked guns buy them a bit of time. 

Then the bullets ricochet around them as they sprint for the emergency exit and it sounds like freedom. It’s a choir singing to them, urging them to move faster, to think smarter. 

“Do we have a plan?” Cody pants when they find cover behind one of the many cars. 

“No,” Noel replies. “There’s too many of them and too little of us.” 

He doesn’t let himself think that this might be it—this might be the end. They’re outnumbered and disadvantaged, the odds are definitely _not_ on their side, the guns in their hands will never be enough to beat the men standing there. 

For the first time ever, Noel feels the fear slowly creeping in. They’re not going to make it out alive. 

“We need a lighter.” Cody mutters.

“What?” 

He doesn’t reply, instead Cody’s hand slips under the car and he yanks down on a wire. Moments later, oil seeps over the ground. 

“We need a distraction. This might buy us enough time.” Cody casually shrugs. If they can run fast enough, that is. “But we don’t have a fucking lighter.”

But Noel does—thank fuck for Cain’s gross smoking habit. 

“Cody.” Noel grabs his hand tightly to stop him from moving away. “Don’t die.” 

“Same goes for you,” he replies with an easy smile, like the world is not falling apart around them, like he has all the time in the world, and Noel knows it’s a rare smile, one only he ever gets to see, and it makes his heart stop in his chest.

The choir stops singing. 

“Come and play, you cowards.” Cain sneers.

Cody counts down. _Three. Two. One._

The car goes up in flames behind them. The explosion shoves them forward. The heat nearly scorches Noel’s skin and he yanks Cody along, Noel’s hand gripping Cody’s so tightly he thinks he might break it, but he refuses to let go. 

The bullets zoom past them again, but they’re at least out of the hangar and the sunlight nearly blinds Noel. 

But then Cody goes down. 

He drags Noel along with him. “No, no,” Noel chokes out, watching in horror as Cody clutches his side. 

If Cody dies—

Noel doesn’t let himself finish the thought. He’s _not_ going to die. 

He’d never forgive himself. 

“I’m okay,” Cody gets out, the words strained, “I’m good.” 

Noel gets him to his feet, slinging one of Cody’s arms over his shoulders. 

“We have to move. Can you walk?” 

“You should go,” Cody groans. “I’m only slowing you down. It’s wasted effort anyways, they know all about me now.” 

“Shut the fuck up, man,” Noel snaps. He’s not leaving him. Never again.

* * *

It’s a miracle they make it out. Really.

Noel’s memories are a blur—blending into the busy streets of LA, snatching baseball caps and hoodies from one of the kiosks, the crowded subway, pressing his hand against Cody’s side during the ride, stumbling into one of the safe houses in Santa Monica.

The bullet only grazed his side, Noel finds out between the untouched desks and dusty first-aid kits, but it got grazed pretty badly. It’s still a relief, though.

He stitches Cody up and cleans the blood off him. “Get some rest,” he says. He’d try and lay down next to Cody, but he knows it’s wasted effort. He probably won’t be able to sleep next to someone for a long while.

Noel closes the bedroom door behind him and fishes the Nokia out of his pocket. The phone call is brief—the rough voice on the other side of the line wants to keep it short.

He steps onto the balcony, desperate to get some fresh air. 

It’s over, his mission. The realization hits him hard. 

The cold air prickles on his skin and he breathes in deeply, taking in the sky as it becomes a fusion of purple and blue and red. 

Noel Miller is a free man again. He swears to never bow to anyone ever again. 

The door opens behind him. A moment later, two strong arms wrap around his waist and Cody rests his head on Noel’s shoulder.

“Are you alright?” He asks softly.

Noel nods. 

“I never knew.” Cody quietly admits. “On what kind of mission you were going.” 

“I didn’t want you to.” He says. He’s not sure if he wants Cody to know, but… it’s important that he realizes exactly how much he means to Noel. “I did it for you, you know.”

Cody’s eyes scan his face warily. “What?” 

“HQ told me they were after you. And—and I couldn’t bear losing you, man.” 

Cody’s arms tighten around Noel’s waist. It’s a small gesture, but it means so much more than he’ll ever understand. 

“You’ll never lose me, Noel.” 

They watch the beach in silence, listening to the waves softly breaking against the shore. 

This mission cost him more than he’s realized. Noel hasn’t paid the full price yet, but he knows it’ll come in time. 

And as he watches the sun sink towards the horizon, the man he loves standing with him, it’s a reassuring thought that when that toll is claimed, Cody will still be there alongside him. 

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> whew. thank you for reading this entire fuckin thing, had the time of my life writing this & also a few mental breakdowns.  
> i might make a prequel to this, who knows.
> 
> kudos and comments make me v happy or find me on tumblr / twitter @sundaycore <3


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